Yes Joe There is a Connection

Posted: October 3, 2007 in Humor

Editor, The News York Times,

My friends are telling me there is no connection between 9/11 and Iraq. I ask my sergeant if there was a connection and he said to write to you and ask you because if it is in the Times it’s true. Please tell me the truth. Is there a connection?

Pfc. Joe Six-pack

803rd Sand-borne division, Excited States Army


Joe, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the liberal media. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Joe, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.


Yes, Joe, there is a connection between 9/11 and Iraq. It exists as certainly as hate and greed and the lust for oil exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its misery and angst. Alas! How terrible would be the world if there were no connection between 9/11 and Iraq. It would be as terrible as if there were no DUBYA. There would be no fantasizing then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this invasion and occupation. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which manhood fills the world would be extinguished.


Not believe in the connection between 9/11 and Iraq! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your sergeant to tell his troops to listen to Rush Limbaugh to catch whether there is a connection. But even if they did not hear Rush say there is a connection between 9/11 and Iraq what would that prove? Nobody listens to Rush Limbaugh in Seattle, but that is no sign that there is no connection. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.


You may tear apart the M16 and see what makes the son-of-a-bitch jam, but there is no veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the smartest men that ever lived, could figure out. Only imagination can push aside that firing pin and view and picture the supernatural beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Joe, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.


No connection between 9/11 and Iraq! Thank George! It lives, and it lives forever. A thousand years from now, Joe, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, it will make glad the hearts of childhood.


Dear reader,

I would hope that I wouldn’t have to point out to you where I got the idea for this. If you google “Yes Virginia There is a Santa Claus” you will find it. I picked on a fictitious soldier because it has been said that a full 70% of soldiers in Iraq believe there is a connection between 9/11 and Iraq.


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