A Word of Caution for Young People

Posted: February 10, 2010 in Personal Growth

I finished reading a couple of paragraphs from William Shatner’s autobiography, “Up ‘Till Now” which contain so much wisdom about what happens to so many peoples’ relationships when they begin living with each other, whether married or not.

"Admittedly, I wasn’t good at being married. I didn’t know how to make a real commitment to another person. On some level I believed that because I was paying the bills, I should make all the decisions. Holding the purse strings meant having the power. So my marriage to Gloria became very lopsided. I know now that when you take away someone’s self-worth their whole entity is lessened. The person you fell in love with slowly disappears, replaced by… by frustration, anger, disenchantment, and tremendous resentment. And then you get angry with them for no longer being the person you married. It’s considerably more volatile when two actors marry but only one has a successful career.

I was working so hard to support my family and resented Gloria because I was getting so little out of my marriage. She resented me for… for probably many reasons. So Gloria stayed home with our girls and it seemed like each week new and beautiful – and seemingly available – women showed up on the set. We had separated emotionally years earlier, but while we were making Star Trek I physically moved out of the house. Eventually she filed for divorce.”

To appreciate how this relates to your own situation try to substitute parts of the lines that compare to your own circumstances. Ignore the lesson from this at your own peril!


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