The Effects of Flirting on a Marriage

Posted: May 3, 2010 in Personal Relationships

I have given the idea that flirting with a married person, man or woman, can have a corrosive effect on his/her relationship with his/her spouse. I believe it can cause problems if the flirtee takes the flirter’s intentions all too seriously. But a little flirting is attention without intention can suppress the tendency to feel you are suddenly too good for your significant other. It can actually have the opposite effect. I have just had a wonderful experience when a former (female) class member gave the third chapter of my book a positive rating. I was drawn into another discussion of finances with my wife and it brought to the surface still another moment of stress. But I was able to put that aside and give her a big kiss on the lips before she went out to shop for food for the table.

I recollect that other women’s attentions have had the same effect on me over the years. Does that make me a saint? Uh… no! I won’t go into the grist for the devil’s advocate if I were ever nominated for saint-hood; just suffice it to say that my attitude towards my wife is solely influenced by our relative ability to handle the stresses that assault our union. If I find myself angry and overreacting when I have to field what I believe are unwarranted attacks, I have to be very careful and reflect if my reaction is influenced by an emotional tryst with another woman.

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